ally...too much!

(Annie Hall, by Woody Allen, 1977) Alvy Singer: "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.

终于看了Woody Allen的电影。朵提醒我，周可说过，他的东西的主题就是“无聊”。我想要多看woody的几部电影才能够了解他的“无聊”，但即使这种评断没有错，每部电影都应该有自己的主题，而每个主题都应该有一句话来精炼地表达。"I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."想起自己15岁以前就这样论断自己。曾经着迷于谬论，享受着寂寞的自己，现在好像已经有所改变了……

Eventually, seen a film directed by Woody Allen. Duo minded me of which Ke Zhou had said: the theme of his films is VACUITY. I can't support this conclusion unless I have see enough films by him. Even though, each film should has its own theme, and each theme may be abstracted as a word. "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." Reminded that I was used to describing myself like that before I was 15. Once I was who was immersed in paralogism, enjoying lone, and now have changed...

自从听了李欣频的讲座就一直想找这部《The Secret》看，尽管不太喜欢整部片子的氛围，在讲座上看的时候有种参加异教宣教会的感觉。但有所追求而不可得的人都渴望拥有心想事成的力量吧。之前就是想学习这种力量，一心想着去香港看苏打绿的演唱会肯定没问题，肯定来得及签证，结果时间来不及，差了两个工作天。后来想想，如果那时候不那么盲目的自信，早点去出入境问个清楚，就能用最快的方法签到了（据介绍，利用现场自动签证机办理最快，而网上签证因为人太多，反而是最慢的。）愿望没达成，看这部片子的欲望也没剩多少了。

而今天看广州日报竟然就在讲《The Secret》的破解，也就是从心理学的角度去解释这个秘密的秘密，以及采取这种做法的不可行性。简单来说，《The Secret》讲的是不要一直想着消极的A，而转念去想积极的B，以便实现B。而广日上的说法是，这里的B往往是-A，实际上它还是A，所以A还是会实现；正确的做法应该是去正视A，承认A，才能真正逃离。

其实只要有一点点心理学基础就很容易想明白这个问题。上几个星期看《锵锵三人行》讲今年灾难的诡秘巧合时，梁文道也说过类似的观点。最近自己对这一点感触很深，虽然很早就认为自己无需改变，但作选择的时候，总不自觉地往自己不擅长的、错误的方向走，事后才发现错失了我真正可以去追求的东西。

题外话：昨天辞职了，今天高中同学聚会回来感觉很好，展望未来咯！

[我打算中英文blogging隔天轮流进行，也就是明天晚上再把这篇blog翻译出来]

Since I had the creative lecture by Xinpin Lee, I have always had the documentary film The Secret in my mind. Though dislike the heresy atmosphere in the documentary, I think everyone who is longing for something aspires after the power of attractive force. A few weeks before, beliving in the attractive force refered in the documentary, I was sure that the visa for HongKong could be approved in time so that I could attend the sodagreen concert. Finally, it came out that the visa was 2 working days' late. Afterward, I realized that if I wasn't so blindly confident, but chose the fast way to acquire the visa (by ATM, instead of net), I could have been to the concert. After that, my desire for The Secret decreased.

Today, I read an article on Guangzhou Daily, which explains the secret of The Secret, and the infeasibility of attractive force. Simply speaking, The Secret tells that don't keep a negative A in mind but a positive B so as to realize B, while the article on Guangzhou Daily holds that the B here is always -A which is still A. The correct method is envisaging and admiting A.

It is easy to think the statement through after learning about some psychological theory. The talk show Qiangqiang3guys weeks before also refered to this point. I recently understand it deeply. I always focused on my weekness, which led me for a wrong direction, and I have losen something worthy to pursue.

P.S. I quit yesterday, and attended the high school gathering and came back with good feeling today, and look forward to tomorrow!

看了《last friends》的第一集就认为这绝对是要成为经典的一部剧，虽然看完后的信心稍微没有那么足（看到中间多少觉得剧情有点停滞不前），但这绝对是话题感够强、主题够集中突出的一部剧。家庭暴力+同性恋+性障碍者（+妻管严+人际关系失败者？），日后谁谁谁谈到相关问题，可以此作为借鉴。

也许不少人看到一半就视美知留为祸水，加上其软弱个性及恋上小武（他是属于瑠可的！）的行径，角色并不讨好，但中心人物偏偏是她。每位主角都有心理阴影（绘梨状况不明），而每个心理有问题的人都在等待着救赎，所以其实《last friends》讲的是关于救赎与被救赎的故事。其中，美知留就是最大的获救者。不过，她是被瑠可救赎的吗？被sharehouse？表面看来，宗佑是使美知留陷入不幸的罪魁祸首，而实际上，是宗佑（或其死亡）救赎了美知留。这点从美知留曾经提到的恋上宗佑的原因里可以看出：因为她觉得宗佑跟自己很像，都有相似的家庭背景。所以，对于美知留，宗佑其实是另一个自己，是自己病态的一面。然当遇到病态的自我的死亡，美知留便从家庭阴影中真正康复过来。所以宗佑实际上是真正的救赎者。

所以，其实美知留这个角色塑造得很好很到位，其个性及其与身边的人的关系的形成都是能够被理解的。而美知留发现经常欺负她的同事竟然有被暴力对待的经历这个情节，也在另一个角度反映出编剧的想法：将美知留这一个体映射在其他人身上，以便延伸表现这一个体的发展可能性。总之，自从听到美知留讲出喜欢上宗佑的原因之后，就觉得特别能理解美知留这个角色。

其实，瑠可和小武也有类似的被救赎与救赎关系，因为两者都认为自己没能力给自己爱的人完美的爱情关系。

[以后我都要把blog文翻译成英文]

After watching Last Friends 01, I was sure that it would become a classical teleplay, (although I am not as sure now as before, 'cause stagnancy of scenario occurs in the midst.) Anyway, it's topics are luxuriant and concentrative. Family Violence +Lesbian+ Sexual Disorder (Wife-Fear +Interpersonal Relationship Loser?). From now on, when someone speaks of these topics, he could refer Last Friends as example.

Many audiences consider MICHIRU as trouble-inducer, also because she is weak-kneed and fell in love with TAKERU (who belongs to RUKA!). Therefor, as the central role though, MICHIRU do not earn much favor from audiences. Each main roles has his/her own psychological shadow, who is waiting salvation. So, Last Friends is a story about salvation. MICHIRU won salvation at best, but who gave it her on earth, RUKA or all in sharehouse? Apparently, SOSHIGE made MICHIRU ill-fated, but actually he (or his death) brought MICHIRU out of ill-fated plight, which can be approved by MICHIRU's words about the reasons for falling in love with SOSHIGE: he has similarly family as hers. In other words, SOSHIGE is another MICHIRU, a morbid MICHIRU. When MICHIRU found the morbid self dead, she was heal from family shadow. That's why I said that SOSHIGE is the one who gave salvation to MICHIRU.

According points above, the role MICHIRU is well-figured and intelligible. Otherwise, the scenario about her workmate's suffering violence also tells the playwright's thought: character mappings afford possibility of role. Above of all, after learning about the reason why MICHIRU loved SOSHIGE, I fairly understand the role.

In fact, RUKA and TAKERU shows the similar relationship, which bases on this: they both assume that they can't afford perfect relationship for whom they love. 

阅读时，耳边出现话语被水阻隔的声音，和蝴蝶振翅的声音

when i am reading, it sounds that voice was obstructed, and butterflies were vibrating their  wings.